Dear Copenhagen,
My life has been a rollercoaster since we first met. Looking back, I think my adaptation was fast and slow at the same time. By "fast" I mean I had to basically adapt very quickly to living by myself for the first time and to every practical side of it. It was a huge step for me, specially being an only child who is very much attached to her parents. By "slow" I mean it was a slow process in terms of: making (good) friends, riding a bike everyday, language (this still applies, as my vocabulary boils down to "Hej", "Tak" and "Undskyld").
I'm still trying to figure out if you like me or dislike me. It seems like we have sort of a love-hate relationship. You've made me go through some of the happiest and saddest moments of my life. Moments where I felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown and felt like just giving up from everything (very stress and homesick induced), where you put so much on my plate that I didn't know what to do or where to turn... but you also made me feel so happy that my face hurt from smiling, and so amazed by your beauty that I almost felt like I was living in a dream or in a movie.
I can't quantify how much you've made me grow and how stronger and proud of myself I feel after these first 5 months with you. At the most serious moments, even if I just felt like crying and running away from my problems, I kept going. There were times where problems were just piling up and nothing seemed to go right but I kept going. The love I feel for you keeps me going. This city and its people keeps me going. (I have to mention that I now have a group of friends that are a big big help and a big part of making my life here easier and better. I can't thank you enough).
Like Morrissey, I've got a job, but then I felt miserable (and exhausted) so I quit my job. Started danish classes but had to quit (or let's say, interrupt) because it was all too much at the same time, with my internship (and working in a restaurant) and I couldn't keep up. All this while trying to find a new home, as my life wasn't already stressful enough. But I did it, and I found an amazing place to live by myself, despite this hectic house market you have. Then, when I least expected, you gave me love, something I had already given up on. And so many happy and dream-like moments followed. You gave me opportunities to grab and new friendships, nice events, parties, concerts, flea markets, festivals to volunteer in. Your cultural life is amazing. Coming from a small town, it's a breath of fresh air for me to live in such a rich and interesting capital, with so much to do.
Right now, it seems like you hate me again. Is it because I was away for two weeks? I'm sorry, I needed a break and I was desperate to see my beloved family and friends again (if I think about it, it was the longest I was outside my country and far from my loved ones). It wasn't as enjoyable and long as I would have wanted, and it feels as strange to be back here as it was when I arrived in Portugal. I will be honest, I didn't want to go back to you so soon. I didn't want to go back to you without a prospect of a new job or a new home for the next few months, with a lot less money in my pocket, with most of my friends and my boyfriend away. I cried, I cried a lot. The future with you is so uncertain and that uncertainty makes me really scared. But here I am. And I'm starting to feel a little bit better, slowly. This past week was my first week being back at work on my internship and it was totally crazy, and totally busy. As the whole month of August will be. But I will manage it the best way I can. It's my last month and I need to leave a good impression and to leave this job on the right foot.
Dear Copenhagen, I now consider you my second home and I don't want to leave you just yet. Please, will you give me a chance?
Until next time,
Inês
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